Cigarettes and Rusty Tires

and i tried to tell you, as i kissed your hard dry lips, all the thing i dreamed about..

Damn layout. I will fix it when I have ambition to do so. That time is not now..

Hydrogen Clorate: HCO(sub3) -

Hydrogen Sulfide: HSO (sub4) -

I am putting the flash cards for these two ions under my pillow tonight, and I will learn them through osmosis.

Tomorrow is the first day of my favorite week of the year, and I have yet to ease my mind into the preparation for it. Oh well! I am so so content with life.

..i touched your bone white hips.

Relief

The right side of my throat is being STABBED every time I swallow. What the hell kind of sickness is that, when nothing is wrong besides your throat hurting for 2 weeks?

I went to the Holy Cross college campus today. It was so stunning that I nearly forgot that I was still in Worcester, several times. Even as great as a college can get, I could never ever get over how much of a failure Worcester is at being a 'college-esque' town. Not that it is necessary for it to be, but I just don't think it would be the ideal environment to shape my future self in. While getting lost around the campus, I lagged behind the group with Joey and pretended I was his photography sidekick. Wanna-be photographer if you will. Regardless, it was the best 20 minutes of the field trip. Man how I love 60 degree coldness spitting down my lungs.

And then, there are my best friends. I don't know if its just the life of a teenage girl, but something inside all of us makes us so similar. It really is amazing how much less alone and panicked you feel, when you are reassured that three strong pillars of support are surrounding you, guarding you from failure. Words just naturally make more sense than thoughts do. And once they peel away from your lips, and travel through the air like freedom, all those thoughts seem to lay down inside your head and take one large *inhale* ... *exhale* Relief.

SILENCE

IUYh87e sjgbu8t7*Tf87yg dshuhgun

someone please teach me how to be patient and think before i just blab things. maybe i should consider a period of silence. it may do me some good?

You know where you are with
Floor collapsing
Floating, bouncing back
And one day....
I am going to grow wings

It is winter (practically) - time to engulf my brain in Radiohead.

11:11

Perff.

Think, Blink, Shrink

I hope that someday, something I will do, will help someone. Or broaden their horizons. Or make them think twice. Or make their heart flutter with content. Or make them realize how beautiful they are.

Then, I can feel satisfied.

Procrastination to Its Fullest

I am currently in a state of unorganized frenzy, as I am hurrying to produce a 'sophisticated' lab report for chemistry. I have read over the instructions sheet at least 4 or 5 times, in hopes of finding the hidden treasure (an obvious answer to all my problems)

And then, at the very bottom on the back of the instructions sheet, there it lay. Noble, shining with hopeful truth spilling from its words. This sentence read:

NOTE: Do not procrastinate writing the report. Get it done at least one day before it is due. This will give you a chance to let your mind clear and go back to proof read the paper. A lot of bad phrasings, grammatical errors, and poor writing can be corrected this way.

Let my mind clear? What? Is that english? Those words do not exist in my life. Maybe if I learned to follow his first piece of advice, and didn't begin this the night before, THEN maybe these words would be alive to me. But for now, I think I subconsciously enjoy having my brain be overflowing with thoughts. Maybe. Why else do I do it to myself willingly?

Song of the Dayizzle! Naomi by Neutral Milk Hotel. (shout out to jo-weeze for spreading the wealth)

Cracks

At 12:09 this morning, I awoke and listened to the shear sound of flames pumping heat

into our home. My eyes twitched, not knowing which patch of darkness to settle on. My thoughts fuzzed with wonder,

"Why am I awake?"

Then, realization hit.

Drip, Drip Drip.

Agitated, I wiped away the sickness that was expelling from my nose. In preparation to re-enter the land of peace, I shifted my slumber position. Now, a dark smear of maroon caught my eye. In utter horror, my lungs deflated. My once drooped eyes widened with shock, as I stared down at my blood covered forearms. The wrinkles in my hands showed through the dried red like cracks in the pavement. Or cracks in maturity. Or cracks in hearts. Or cracks in teeth. Or cracks in honesty, fraud, effort, or success.

I got a bloody nose at 12:09 this morning. What a horrifying sight it is, to see my own innocent hands covered in a liquid that is so closely tied to everything immoral. Events like these cause smudges of blood on my sheets, cracks in my judgement, flooding wonder.

Drip, Drip, Drip.

blank

i want to post a blog right now, but nothing is coming to mind. poetry was deleted several times, to a point where i came to the conclusion that tonight is not a poetry kind of night.

one month until nutcracker, and i genuinely can not wait. bring on the madness.